Talley Ho!

Over the summer, and last six months really, I’ve found myself feeling stuck. Stuck on what I wanted to do in life, what I was already doing in life, what I wanted my blog to be, what I wanted to achieve…I had so many questions and I was beyond stuck.

Turtle upside down in peanut butter, kind of stuck.

In fact, if I wasn’t so afraid of motorcycles, I feel like I had finally hit the point in my life where I was having just enough of an existential crisis to go out and buy one.

*Side note: I did not buy a motorcycle, but I bought a minivan–which may be worse.

Focusing on my brand as an author had become an everyday thought and dream of mine, but I was still wanting to grow this space and do more things to provide meaningful content around parenting and writing. Trying to figure out how to do all of that, while managing my full-time corporate job and life sent me into a state of overwhelm.

I took a mental hiatus. A brain-break. Which was so necessary.

After a lot of meditation and brainstorming sessions in the bubble bath, I picked the idea back up. In my attempts to start outlining a potential author brand, it quickly became apparent that when you start out…You’re pretty much it.

It’s you. The big cheese. YOU are the brand.

You’re the one putting your self and your imagination on the line for people to either enjoy or hate. You’re the one writing the books for people to read. AND! Once you’ve written said books, then they will become part of the brand too.

It’s a big umbrella that starts with you. Or in this specific case, me.

For whatever reason, I had convinced myself that the author platform I wanted to create and the personal blog platform I already had here needed to be separate. I don’t know why my brain plays games like that, but it does. Then I realized that my brain was being a silly goose.

If my author platform was supposed to start with moi…then I pretty much already had that started–here.

Duh.

It became painfully obvious that I needed to take my idea of designing a separate author platform, and simply meld it with this one that already existed. In both scenarios, the vision I have for The Witty Bean and the vision I have for myself as an author, I am always sharing and being candid with my readership about my journey…so there was no need to keep them separate.

SO! The next few weeks will be spent growing this reimagined, cohesive brand. There will be some changes to social media and content and what I’m providing for all of you.

All of you who read this blog, come back to spend your valuable time reading my words and you should know that it is a responsibility that I don’t take lightly. I want to make sure that you’re getting the best information, stories, and laughs I can possibly give. Time is precious.

You are the awesome people in the universe that I believe in. I want you to know that I’m eternally grateful for you and I’m so excited to start this new chapter and take you all along with me for the ride!

Cheers!

You Never Need to Come Out to Me.

Today is National Coming Out Day. It’s a day to celebrate our fellow humans who have been courageous and who have come out as LGBTQ.

I’m here to say this…

You never need to come out to me.

My love and acceptance for you, as my friend, my family member, a member of my circle, the person offering me a pamphlet, or just another fellow human, is not defined by your sexual identity and/or orientation.

I’ll say it louder for the people in the back:

I LOVE YOU JUST AS YOU ARE. PERIOD.

I will always celebrate PRIDE and National Coming Out Day.
I will always advocate for equality.
I will always be an ally.
I will always accept you for you and be your champion.
I will always listen and cry and stand with you.

I will never love you less because you haven’t come out, but I will be your biggest fan if, and when, you choose to do so.

I will never stop fighting for you because you are worthy, and you are loved.

Always.

Don’t Screw Them Up

What does that even mean?!

Well…it’s a title, duh…not only to this week’s blog post, but also to MY DEBUT NOVEL!

Yep! You heard it! I have a book – well…I will have a book, once it is completely finished, printed and launched THIS FALL!

Whaaaaaaaaaat?! SO exciting.

I’ve been a storyteller my whole life. So when I started having kids I made a point to document and keep track of all of the funny things that happened along the way. My life, and especially my parenting journey has had huge ups and downs. I’ve dealt with postpartum depression, being a single mom, being a teen mom, being called out and shamed for the way I choose to parent. And to be completely honest, it took me a while to grow some coconuts big enough to tell people to, “back the hell off because I’m quasi capable of not screwing this up! Maybe…”

Self-doubt is a total drag, and people can find ways to get under even the thickest of skin, which I tend to have. Except when it comes to being a mom or a writer. I’m an undoubted failure at both of those things at least three times a week and on days that end with ‘y’.

Which led me to the idea of writing this book, not for anyone else, but for myself.

This book is my catharsis. It is allowing me the opportunity to go back and read my snippets that I kept along the way. It shows me how much I have learned, taught and grown as a parent. A lot of the stories in the book, while overwhelming at the time, are pretty funny now, if I do say so myself.

While this book started out being my reassurance that I’m a good mom, that parenting isn’t black and white, and that you’re basically just given these tiny people and expected to forge a path and not screw them up along the way (no pressure) – It hit me that this is a story I needed to share. It grew beyond my own personal reassurance into this platform of reassurance for everyone.

It’s an anthology for all the other people out there who also give their kids screen time so that they can selfishly watch an episode of Santa Clarita Diet on Netflix and regain a fraction of their sanity. If I can show even one person that they aren’t alone – and that they are a good parent or even help someone be more open minded about how they parent or how they want to parent but are to afraid to…I’m down for that!

So without further ado, I present to you the cover art for my book that will be releasing…eventually when it’s done!

THERE’S A COVER AND EVERYTHING AND I’M A REAL WRITER AND THIS IS MY BOOK HOLY CRAP!

There’s even a shameless little bio that goes inside of it and everything….

So there you have it!

Right now, these are all of the details that I have but rest assured, there will be SO much more happening and coming soon! Thank you again and again to everyone who sends words of encouragement and comes back to read these crazy stories I share, it means the world to me and inspires me to keep sharing!

Make sure you’re following The Witty Bean Blog on Instagram for real-time updates and fun shenanigans as I finish and publish this book!

Hooray!

Ironic Inspiration

I have no content for you this week. I have failed. The end.

Okay not really. In all honesty I have just had A LOT going on and nothing really felt inspiring to write about. Ironically enough, that inspired me to write this quick little blip.

Sometimes you don’t have to write about really deep meaningful things. Sometimes you don’t even have to do really meaningful things. It’s okay to let your mind take a break. If your brain is constantly going, it doesn’t have time to dream up new, creative things – which are kind of important.

Which is what I’ve realized I needed to do recently. I’ve been going pretty non-stop for the last three weeks, so this weekend we are taking a trip to Washington D.C. I’m planning on using this time to take inspiration from the world around me and be present in my life and not fuss about all of the tasks that will always be pending in the background.

I’m a huge proponent of hitting ‘pause’ on adulting for a bit – which is exactly what I intend to do starting tomorrow.

One thing to leave you with before I go for the weekend…there will be a new sneak peek of a project I’ve been working on coming up very very soon!!!!

Should you be excited? Yes! I most definitely am.

Until next week, lovelies!

Shh. The Universe is Talking.

Who here get’s signs from the Universe? Anyone…

Better yet, who actually listens to them?

If you’re not sure what a sign from the Universe looks like, let me give you a brief example. Funny enough, this one also includes a sign from the Universe and yours truly initially not listening to it until it was too late and the Universe had to yell at me…

Last week was one of those weeks where you have something going on every single day, not enough hours and no freaking idea how you’re going to get it all done. Wednesday morning I woke up feeling drained and like I needed a break. I wanted to stay in bed, take it easy and just relax….but work and life beckoned so I silenced the Universe’s signs and trucked on. I put more to-do’s on my list and kept pushing through with the promise that I would relax that evening.

Everything went awry that day. I was dropping, spilling, forgetting things…you name it – I was doing it. I was text-book Murphy’s Law.

All of those spills and trips and “OMG,” moments were signs from the Universe, telling me to slow down and stop, and I was having none of it’s shenanigans. So that night the Universe sent me a sign that said, “Hey, Sally-McStubbornPants, slow the hell down,” by having me slip in the relaxing bath I had drawn, and wedge my toes down the effing drain.

I was certain they were broken. Obscenities went flying. Sean was laughing at me. I wasn’t sure whether I wanted to laugh at the absurdity of it or cry because it was just one more thing that went wrong that day.

Mackenzie, in all her glory came in and said, “Toes aren’t broken. And, well…you said you needed to slow down. The Universe just made sure it happened.” Of course she was right. I was forced to slow myself down. No, literally, because I couldn’t do more than hobble everywhere and ice my sad little toes with frozen brussell sprouts for 48 hours.

All day I had known that I needed to slow down, but I kept pushing myself until finally, the Universe was like “NOPE!” and I was physically forced to take a breather.

Still, sometimes the signs aren’t as ‘in-your-face’. Sometimes they’re quiet and last much longer than a day, so you have to really pay attention to recognize them.

Me and not listening to the Universe go way back. In fact, this is a lifelong battle with the that I’ve been having, until I finally resolved at 8:30 on a Tuesday night…while wearing sweatpants. I don’t pick when these things happen in my life…but I feel like I need to be truthful about how it came to me and the fact that I wasn’t ‘presentable’ when it did.

I have been on my writing journey my entire life, even if I didn’t realize it at the time. I’m a story-teller. I remember telling wild stories from the time I was little until now. My children are story-tellers. I’ve always wanted to write, to be an author, to have a book published, to share my story…and I’ve been so incredibly fortunate to have people who listen.

My mother was constantly encouraging me to write. My husband and my kids. My entire family has supported my writing. People I barely know have said things like, “I can’t wait to read your book,” or, “your blog is so funny I love reading it.”

I would say thank you, turn red because I wasn’t sure I had the chops to be a writer, and move on. I still wasn’t pushing myself to write more often or finish one of the projects I so desperately wanted to finish. I would subconsciously find legitimate reasons around it – kids, work, volunteering, laundry.

Heh, okay maybe not laundry…but you get the idea. The Universe was giving me people and avenues and opportunities to write and to really go after my dream of being a published author, but I, once again, was too stubborn to listen to them.

Open Scene: Enter Taryn.

Here’s some background – I met Taryn at a blogger MeetUp two years ago. We met one time. I loved her DIY blog – but mostly I loved her journey. I loved watching her grow from just writing about the things that she enjoyed doing, to creating this entire brand and business that helped other women do the same. It was one of the single most inspiring things I’ve watched unfold before my eyes.

Still, you guessed it, I just watched. I didn’t take action for myself.

Are you going, OMG! ASHLEY! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!” yet? Because I am.

Looking back on your life is a lot like looking through old photos. At the time they were taken, it was a great idea…but looking back on them you’re thinking to yourself, “Teenage Ashley…were you blind? Whyyyy are you wearing coordinated Adidas gear and a high pony tail and posing like I Dream of Jeanie?!”…yes there’s photo evidence…

MOVING ON.

The other day I was sitting with Mackenzie, trying to adult and write and work and do all the things – when I just couldn’t figure out which way was up anymore. I was so flustered with all of it that I gave up and turned to Instagram to soothe my wounded brain.

Low and behold, who’s image did I see first on my feed? You guessed it – One Crafty Miss, aka Taryn aka my savior.

I hadn’t been listening to the Universe, but at that moment I knew what I needed to do. I realized why this amazing woman had been placed in my path. So I sent her a desperate cry for help that went something like this:

“OMG I need your help I don’t know how to build my brand I have too many ideas lol are you hosting any amazing girl boss things anytime soon?!?!” 

She graciously calmed my nerves and within the day we had a meeting set up. Last night I ended our thirty minute meeting with more clarity than I had been able to gain for myself in a year.

I realized that I was focusing too much on the logistics of how I would build my author platform, that I forgot about the reason I wanted to do any of it!

I want to write and connect with people. I want to share my journey to become an author, because I don’t just have the opportunity to write full time yet. I’m a full-time corporate working lady with three tiny humans, a family and other commitments. Yes, I want to write, but I want to help other people learn that they can write as well.

I don’t have to pick one thing or another, I can blend and create my own path exactly as I want it to be…and so can you.

Take this opportunity and my hard-headed lessons to hush yourself for a bit. When you’re feeling like you’re at your wits end, take a minute to be quiet and still. Reflect on the things you’ve done up until that point.

Allow someone else to step into your element with you and trust them to show you things that you’ve known were there, but didn’t quite have a handle on, or were too stubborn to recognize.

You’ll see the signs you’ve been given…you’ll connect the dots and you’ll get your “Well I’ll be damned,” moment. Promise.

Happy Wednesday Lovelies! Relish in the fact that you are alive, creative, loved and capable of greatness, and the Universe does want you to succeed and doesn’t want to have to shove your toes down the drain to make you realize it.